


Blame It On the Changes

by leigh_adams



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: rarepair_shorts, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-28
Updated: 2011-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-28 09:00:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/306184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leigh_adams/pseuds/leigh_adams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius, with the help of a bottle of whiskey, tells Lily how he feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blame It On the Changes

**Author's Note:**

> Written as part of the 2011 Wishlist event at Rarepair Shorts.

“I’m sorry.”

The words were spoken so softly, Lily wasn’t sure she’d heard them. Glancing over at the man next to her, she said, “What for?”

“For not staying away.” Sirius took another swig from his bottle of whiskey and passed it over to her, hurriedly pressing the back of his hand to his mouth to stifle his hiccup. “James is my best mate, and I love him. I shouldn’t be here.”

He _shouldn’t_ be there. Lily knew that, agreed with that, but she couldn’t tell him to leave. Not yet. “Well,” she said, taking a delicate sip from the bottle, “you did promise to bring him home, and I’m glad to see there was only one pair of knickers looped round his neck instead of two.”

That brought a small smirk to Sirius’s lips. “You shoulda seen the broad we sent home with Wormtail. Tits the size of-”

“ _And_ that’s quite more than I wanted to know, thank you,” she said, cutting him off mid-stride. James was more than entitled to a stag night, but she did _not_ need to know the details. Particularly when there were strippers, firewhiskey, and apparently, a packet of wet-start fireworks and the Tower Bridge involved.

Sirius took the bottle from her and brought it to his lips, chugging down another two gulps of the amber liquid. “S’not what I meant, Lils,” he said softly, looking away from her. “I shouldn’t _still_ be here. Alone with you.”

“I know,” she whispered.

“But I couldn’t... I couldn’t stay away,” he glanced back at her, his eyes glazed with a combination of emotions and drink. He didn’t look like Sirius Black, Lancelot of Gryffindor Tower in that moment. Right then, he just looked like a sad, somewhat lost eighteen year-old who didn’t know what to do.

Lily could empathize.

“I just wanted you to know.” Taking the last swig of whiskey, he chucked the empty bottle off into the bushes. “It’s not over for me. I just wish I could know, you know, what could have been.”

“But it is for me,” she said softly, but firmly. Reaching out for Sirius’s hands, she took them between her own and squeezed softly. “Sirius, I care about you. You’re James’ best friend, and he loves you like a brother. And I love James. I’m _marrying_ James in three days. You can’t do this to me.”

One time. One kiss. It had been a mistake-- or so she’d tried to tell herself. Sirius was James’ best friend, had been since they’d all started Hogwarts. He went through girls faster than Petunia changed outfits, leaving a trail of broken hearts in his wake.

One night. One kiss. _Far_ too much to drink.

“I will _always_ care about you,” she said softly. “But I just can’t do this to James.”

Sirius gave a hollow sort of laugh and pulled his hands from hers, scrubbing one over his face in an agitated move. “Yeah, right. Brilliant. I know. I’m being a tosser, Lils. You know me.”

“I do,” she affirmed. Reaching out to still his frantic hand, she cupped his chin in her other hand and turned his face to hers. “You, Sirius Black, are a noble man, and a loyal friend. And you smell like a distillery.”

“Kick a man when he’s down, eh Evans?” he said dryly, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards in a small smile. “That’s cruel.”

Lily laughed and leaned over, pressing her lips to his forehead in a soft kiss. “Go home. Get some sleep. You can drag James out of bed tomorrow for your final fittings.”

“As you wish, my lady.”


End file.
